Laughter really is the best medicine!!

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice! Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

As if there was any doubt of the joy-filled, gracious life God intends for us, this passage exemplifies His ability to provide! We are to rejoice at all times, because God has sent His Only Son to die and be raised for us to bring us to new life. What is there to be sad about?? We have already been saved, and are loved through death!

Sometimes life feels so complicated, our world's problems seem so complicated and insurmountable - and yet, God has already conquered sin and death - what else is there to fear?! We have only to offer up the rubber-band-ball of problems to God, and He will make for us out of that complicated mess a shining robe of glory!! For, "[we] can do all things through Christ who strengthens [us]" (Philippians 4:13).

I had a dream last night in which two monsters that were chasing this group of girls were turned into comical caricatures of themselves when the girls started laughing at them and taking pictures of them. All I could think about when I woke up is how true this is of Satan! We can take two approaches to the evil that surrounds us in our lives: we can either take it to heart, agonize over it, and not allow ourselves to know that God to deal with it in His time; or, we can LAUGH at it, knowing that good has already won the battle over evil, that "we have nothing to fear but fear itself," to quote FDR.

Have you ever heard the expression, "if I didn't laugh about it, I would be crying?" It contains more than a small grain of truth. When we trip over something in public or say something embarrassing, we laugh to cover up the awkwardness of the moment. And all of a sudden, the GREAT PUBLIC SHAME of tripping becomes something comical, something that we laugh about and can relate to friends afterward as a FUNNY story. We are blessed in that we do not have to worry about anything with God, because our lives have already been spoken for, and God's heart has already opened itself up in Divine Mercy to all of us!! There is no shame, no embarrassment in Him!

Satan's power in this world comes completely from his own pride. Most people most often sin not because of an intention to fight against God, but rather because it is easier than giving up one's own self-pride, or easier than doing what God wants us to do. But, laughter at oneself is the ultimate sign of humility; that we don't even take ourselves seriously enough to think that anything we do, any sin we commit could be completely harmful in creating the Kingdom of God. God's Love is SO much greater than ourselves that we are offered all the good parts of building the Kingdom of God, without any of the blame for mistakes we make. It's like our entire lives are the bonus section on a test, and all the points we amass are extra from the "100%" God has already given our tests!

If we laugh at the evil around us that tries to draw us into sin, we show confidence in our loving God who has conquered sin and death. We show that sin has no power over us anymore, and that it is laughable, like our own sinful natures. The true people we are shines through in our love of Christ and devotion to Him. Like the Bible says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you" (James 4:8). We are never far removed from God; we are kept close to Him through the Sacraments - especially with frequent reception of the Eucharist and Confession. We are given every opportunity to draw near to Him - through hardships, through confusion and pain, through happy and joyful times. He is always with us, and we are in Him as His Church.

This is why it is comical to think of a being who is shadow, a being who cannot even touch us, as having power over us. Satan is no more than a fleeting temptation, a vague emptiness and a dangerously evil enemy. But, God has already won the fight. And laughter is the cry of victory over an enemy who would have us become paralyzed with fear. Satan would LOVE to convince us of some bigger, better situation or concept - anything to draw our focus off of God! Do not let him fool you - there is nothing that Satan could ever do to a child of God that God could not forgive! Even Judas, who betrayed Jesus, would have been forgiven had he turned to God and asked forgiveness of Him. Instead, Judas gave into temptation and turned away from God. This is not to say that he should have taken his sin of betrayal lightly and laughed at it, but rather that he could have sought forgiveness had he been humbled enough to realize God's power and greatness.

Now, we should not all go out and think that Satan is comical. He is pure and complete evil, with not even a drop of good, so nobody should ever let their guard down against temptation. But the beauty and light of God shining into the dark corners of our world illuminates all that would otherwise be scary and unknown, and makes it known to us. God's light touches all corners of the earth, and Satan has nowhere to hide. In that vein of thought, it is laughable imagining such a sinister being forced into the light and STILL being DELUDED ENOUGH to pretend to remain in darkness. Because nothing escapes the light of God's Truth.

May today be a time for rejoicing in God and in Jesus Christ, His Only Son, confident in the Word and Truth of God's light! May we always draw nearer and nearer to God through prayer and sacrifice, being molded and shaped into the people we truly are by the constant process of shearing off our sinful nature! May we react to God's sometimes painful working in our lives not with the agony of pain, but rather with the laughter of being relieved of our sins, and of gratitude for God's Goodness and hope in His Glory! May we offer up the tangled web of the problems of the world to our God, with the confidence of knowing that He will fix them in His time! May our hearts always rejoice by focusing on the Goodness of God rather than the absence of good (evil), and may we, like the Virgin Mary, allow Christ into our hearts and souls, where He will reside with us until the end of time!

Love in Christ through Mary,
Christina :)

The Parable of the Seed and the Sower!

I read a reflection by St. John Chrysostom today that was GREAT and such a new twist for me on the parable of the seed and the sower:

"Our Lord speaks this parable to encourage his disciples and teach them not to let themselves become demoralized, even if those who welcome the word are fewer than those who waste it. This is how it was for the Master himself who, in spite of knowing the future, never ceased to scatter his seed.

But, you may say, what is the use of scattering it among thorns or on rocks or on the path? If it were a question of a material seed and a material ground then there would be no point. But when it concerns souls and the Word, then it is a wholly praiseworthy act. One would rightly blame a laborer from acting like this: rock cannot become earth, a path cannot but be a path or thorns be thorns. But it is not so in the spiritual domain: rock can become a fertile land; the path can no longer be trampled by the passers-by but turn into a fertile field, the thorns be pulled up to allow the seed to ripen freely. If this were not so, the sower would not have scattered his seed as he did."

We can catch a glimpse then of how important it is to sow seed in areas where we tend to think it will die, because God works miracles in hearts of stone, in hearts whose interior is blocked by thorns! I had always struggled with this parable, because I understood playing the role of the sower - we are always to sow seeds - but, I was terrified of being rocky or thorny or scorched soil!!! I always used to do a self-check and realize that at some point I had been all of these - what if I still was and the Word of God was not reaching deep enough?!?!!

But, thank God for St. John Chrysostom!!! He notes that the Master Gardener cares for His garden well, and tends to every last plant. God patiently weeds the garden of our hearts, builds greenhouses for those plants who cannot survive in the cold, leaves the more hardy plants outside to weather the storms and protect the smaller plants. Every plant has a place designated by God, such that the entire garden is filled! And no two plants are the same!!

God truly knows us to the very core, and can see into the depths of the soil to know how our roots are growing. This parable does not exclude the option of sowing the seed among the thorny or rocky soil - in fact, it requires that this is what we do!! It simply gives us the hope that rocky soil can be turned into good, rich soil, just like water can be changed into wine - all we have to do is say the Word.

And the second that we ask to receive the Word, we will see and understand that God has planted the Word within us all along. The seed has already been planted in our soil - all we have to do is ask God to remove the barriers that make our plot of land unplantable. The seeds will grow by God's care, and all we need to do is give our fiat to allow God to work in us!!!

I was in a class on the "Illuminated Manuscript" the other day, and we were analyzing a two-page illustration of Heaven and Hell. Our professor pointed out that Heaven was a place filled with buildings and taken up by all that God is, whereas Hell was represented as an empty page on which a comical Satan had been drawn. The idea was that Hell represented the absence of all good, whereas Heaven represented the fullness of everything good (God!)!

It is with this analogy that we realize that we are already full to the brim with God's grace, but we can only rejoice inasmuch as we are made aware to the presence of this enormous grace!!! We exist fully and completely as perfect children of God in this moment (nunc coepi - now I begin!); we are completely in union with God (at reception of the Eucharist, we are reminded that we are UNITED TO CHRIST and are graced with the realization - His gift to us - that we ARE THE BODY OF CHRIST on earth!!!). Every day, new weeds may grow in us, new sins may take form, but ultimately, God our Gardener is always watching His plants and caring for us, and if we but say the word, the weeds are removed, leaving even more room for good soil. And if we yield fruit, then we take up bigger plots of land, until we grow a tree big enough to provide shade for smaller plants. God uses everything in the garden. :)

May our today and our every day be a "yes" to God, seeing Him in all that we do! May we realize that God is never in the absence of something, but rather in the fulfillment of something! May we pray not that we receive something, but rather that we gain appreciation for the things we already receive!!! May the only, deepest prayer of our hearts be, like the Blessed Mother, "I am the handmaid of the Lord; be it done unto me according to Thy Word." May the Word take flesh in us, and may our hearts grow so that we can hold more of the grace that is offered to us at every moment of our lives! And may we live forever in this realization that God is truly good and loves us ALL THE TIME!

Love in Christ through Mary,
Christina :)

The Power of Silence...

"Then the LORD said, 'Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD; the LORD will be passing by.' A strong and heavy wind was rending the mountains and crushing rocks before the LORD--but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake--but the LORD was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake there was fire--but the LORD was not in the fire. After the fire there was a tiny whispering sound.   When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave. A voice said to him, 'Elijah, why are you here?'" - 1 Kings 19:11-13

Wow, what a new Elijah we see here - not the prophet of great movements, of lofty thoughts or extensive prophesying, but rather an Elijah of simplicity and littleness.  He is not moved by the majesty of the strong and heavy winds, the destructive capability of the earthquake, or the captivating flames of the fire.  No.  For Elijah, God appears as a tiny little voice, a tiny little question like a mosquito buzzing near his ear: "Elijah, why are you here?"

I mean, I would have been pretty confused.  "I don't really know why I'm here, Lord, isn't that what You're supposed to tell me?!"  But, God only asks us questions to which we already know the answers, which have been imprinted on our hearts.  And that answer is always, "I love you."

Even when we feel numb or unworthy, even when we are in bad moods and treating others badly, even when we ourselves are treated badly, the message written on every heart and soul around the world is "I love you."  It is this message that keeps our world from falling apart in the society that we live in today, that which forms the only thing that matters to us as human beings.  We seek God, we search for Him in lofty emotions, in great thoughts, in powerful and overwhelming senses of love, of charity for others, of happiness.  And yet, the greatness of God is contained in the simple phrase, "I love you."  The greatness of God is contained in a simple piece of bread, and a few drops of wine.  Surely the greatness of God remains with us, even when we do not have the large emotions, the great thoughts, the incredible miracles.  Everything is a miracle with God.

God is not in the earthquakes in Haiti, nor the aftershock - He is in the quiet hope for medicine, food, and clean water, in the quiet and unnoticed click of a mouse when you donate to an aid organization, in the quiet prayers of thousands of the faithful for the lives of their brothers in Christ across the water.  God is not in the overwhelming sense of despair associated with viewing gritty scenes of war, or contemplating the huge extent of social ills in modern American society, or feeling empowered to change the world.  God is in the simple "yes" to waking up to greet the day, to handing over the little that we have to offer Him, such that He can make us great in our littleness, through Christ!  Great things are not born of great people, but rather of a great God who deigned to give great honor to little people. 

We are here on earth not to feel the greatness of despair, but rather to see the greatness of God in the tiniest grain of sand, on a beach filled with grains of sand.  God is here, and God is now, as He will be forevermore!  We don't have to do something great to change the world - all the greatness in the world is contained in a single piece of bread!!!  What a comfort it is, then, knowing that we, too, can contain all the greatness of the world in the simple hope and love that Christ has already written onto our hearts!  That, even when we do not feel it, even when we're in a "funk," or a bad mood, we're still His children, and that there is ALWAYS something to rejoice about: Christ crucified and risen from the dead, and hope everlasting in His promise to love us forever and be with us always!

Like Elijah, we find ourselves on the mountains which God has called us to climb, and we get scared.  Here God is not in the blowing winds, or the sunlit paths, and indeed sometimes the road is very dark, and there is no easy way to the top in sight.  The road remains covered in snow and ice, there is a sheer drop off the side, and we cannot know what lies ahead, but we can most likely assume that it will get more difficult the closer we get to the top.  The climb is treacherous, the road unpaved, our bodies aching from hunger.  But we know that God lies not only just ahead, but with us, and that His voice is a tiny piece of bread in the depths of our hunger, a tiny whisper in the depths of the emptiness inside our souls, a gentle breeze to cool our tired, sweaty, aching bodies.

And this little voice is our manna in the desert, our calm in the storm.  We have no other refuge other than the rock that is Our God, and what a great God He is, that He can not only fit into a tiny child, but also into a tiny piece of bread, a tiny breeze, and the gentlest whisperings of our otherwise empty soul!!!

In Christ through Mary,
Christina :)

Patient Trust in the Slow Work of God

Found this prayer online after it was recommended to me that I read it - it's SO GOOD! :)

"Patient Trust in the Slow Work of God"

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.

We are quite naturally impatient in everything
to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something
unknown, something new.
And yet it is a lot of all progress
that it is made by passing through
some stages of instability -
and that may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you.
Your ideas and mature gradually - let them grow,
let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don't try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances
acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.


Only God could say what this new spirit
gradually forming within you will be.
Give our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.

-Pierre Teilhard de Chardin S.J.

Discernment of spirits and the grace of God

Have there ever been times in your life when you have felt a little off-kilter?  As though there was something just not right?  Where you knew something was wrong, but you couldn't place your finger on it?  Welcome to the need for discernment of spirits in everyday life.

Life is very confusing.  Things come and go constantly, emotions change, people move into and out of our lives, but the ONE constant that we have is God.  He is always there, loving and guiding us.  So, He is a GREAT Ruler (in more than one sense of the word!) by which to judge what is revealed to us during the course of our walks in Faith!

God is a gentleman.  He reveals things gradually and with purpose, without any rush whatsoever.  Our society is always pushing the idea of efficiency, the idea that we need to get everything done TODAY, THIS HOUR, THIS SECOND!  What a hectic way to live!  God's Will for us is so great, that He cannot allow it to be built in a second!  We need longer to grow in Faith, to grow accustomed to God's Love for us, and we can spend a lifetime attempting to understand His Love, and never even getting close to understanding It.

But, that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.  The Love we are given and offered freely on a daily basis IS our discernment of spirits - it is what causes this world to function, what causes grace to be offered to each one of us every day, what heals us, what defends us, what sustains us.  And yet, we often choose to ignore this Love!!!  How are we to know what is truly right and wrong unless we think about it, "keeping all these things in our heart" as Mary did?  How are we to know what path in life to take unless we shy away from impulsive action and take the time to truly dissect our own motives for all that we do, and God's Divine Providence?  How are we to know that things that do not have DIRECTLY bad consequences may very well be sinful actions?  Through PRAYER and DISCERNMENT OF SPIRITS.

And this prayer cannot ever cease.  Our lives are filled with stimuli - it exists in the world all around us.  We hear things that strike us, see things that are markedly profound somehow, understand things that are meant only for us to understand at that moment; all little signs to us that God loves us.  But, it is SO important to always be thinking about these little things, never ceasing in our meditation, prayer, and praise of God!  These are the things that will confirm and direct our decisions, answer our prayers!  These are the things that God has sent us because we NEED them, not because we WANT them.  Sometimes the discrepancy between the two types of items (NEEDS vs. WANTS) requires a lot of thought in order to bridge the gap.  And bridge the gap we must, because if we don't, we will leave God's answer to our prayers unacknowledged and unloved - and God is SO worthy of all our love!!!

Just think: if I prayed today that I wanted to see my Mom, and received a letter from my close aunt who lives on Main Street, USA telling me that she was coming to visit and needed a place to stay, I might be upset that God hadn't answered my prayers.  I might be so busy focused on the thought that I NEED to see my MOTHER in PARTICULAR in order for my prayers to be answered, that I miss the opportunity God is giving me to receive a loving relative into my home!  And perhaps all I was seeking all along, the truest and deepest desire of my heart at that moment, in wanting to see my Mom, was simply to want to love and be loved in return by someone that I knew would love me with the love of a mother.  Perhaps my aunt had been childless for a really long time, and was looking to love in the same way that I sought to be loved.  Wouldn't her visit simply be perfection in the light of God's understanding of the situation?  It fits SO well, but this understanding would not be possible without prayer and thought, and the acceptance of the Grace and Love of God!  And isn't that exactly what we all desire?  So, how can we go wrong with God's Will for us?!?!

So many people have been quoted talking about how happiness is not wanting much and having little, but rather wanting little, and therefore having much.  How much more so true is this with God!  Life is not about gaining all the things we think that WE want, but rather giving up all that we think we want to God's discernment, trusting that His Judgment will provide for us much better than we ourselves can!  After all, He's already got us beat on knowing the deepest desires of our hearts and souls, which is something that I don't think many people can say they know about themselves!  He knows who we are better than we do.  Our lives are to be spent conforming our temporary wills to His Eternal Will for us - and how blessed with grace we will be when our hearts shine with the understanding of how He is working in our lives!!!

Dearest, closest Lord, the one who comes to us as a Tiny Child so that we might understand your love for us and desire to be among us, please teach us in your ways!  Do not allow us to remain secluded in our own understanding of life, of You, of what you are capable of!  Allow us to see by the light of Faith, to know in the depths of our hearts lit only by trust in you!  This is all we need!  Our hearts are hungry to know, and to understand!  Help us to seek understanding only by Your Grace, and grant us the wisdom of discernment of spirits, that we may know Your Will!  Grant this Grace to all around us, that the hearts and souls of the community might be ignited by the passion of your Spirit, and be ready to do Your Will joyfully and with all the self-giving that you created them for!  May our hearts serve as the altar on which the Eucharist may shine, and may the light of Christ permeate our existence fully, so we can be assured that, like John the Baptist, "He must increase," and "we must decrease."  May we live in the joyful hope of the completion of Your Will every day, and may we keep our eyes ever focused on you as we patiently wait, that Your Will may be done in the perfection of Your Time!

Love in Christ through Mary,
Christina :)

Stabat Mater

I had this sudden inclination today to listen to the Stabat Mater (Dolorosa), which is a Latin hymn. The title translates to, "the grieving mother stood," and the literal English translation of the lyrics is phenomenal. Truly this woman was blessed to behave as she did, feeling as she did! And what a lesson she has to teach us!

Lately in my prayers and interactions with friends, I keep finding myself returning to the idea that our situations do not cause us to act how we do, but rather WE cause ourselves to act as we do. There is such a tendency in all of us to blame anything but ourselves for the misfortunes that befall us - we can even blame God! How could He let such misery befall us?! Why is this happening to us? And yet, there is always Stabat Mater Dolorosa, eternally standing in grief, eternally modeling and exemplifying the virtue and the promise of Christ, even through the worst of all possible situations.

This woman's son, who was a blameless innocent and the Son of God, was turned over to Roman officials, sentenced to a gruesome death, betrayed and abandoned by all His friends, and was being crucified before her very eyes. Yet, she stood. Her heart was breaking, for sure, and her sufferings would have bested the sufferings of any other woman ever to have walked on the face of the planet, yet she stood. And through the sorrows of that day, through the pain and agony of watching her only son begotten of the Holy Spirit as He was whipped and nailed to a cross, she felt a deep peace and joy in her trust and faith in God. As we laud our Stabat Mater dolorosa, we also grieve with her - we rejoice for her faith and trust in God, yet we feel the same human emotions of sorrow and joy, pain and peace, heartbreak and overwhelming love.

The literal translation to the Stabat Mater is here: http://www.shrinesf.org/stabatmater.htm. This woman who was so in love with God that she bore His Son was given this heartwrenching situation - much worse than anything that any of us will ever experience in our lives. Yet, we call Mary BLESSED among women! I think this is cause for a little investigation... :)

We recently celebrated Christmas Day, where we find Our Blessed Mother with her betrothed in a cramped stable, surrounded by smelly animals, with the Son of God. Both are overjoyed and filled with wonder at the appearance of three strange men coming to visit the Christ-child, and Our Blessed Mother must have been full of emotion. Imagine: you have just been given a precious gift, God's only Son, and now you must raise Him! Your every action as a mother is done for the Child of God!!! Talk about anxiety as a parent - normal parents go weak at the thought of raising a child - imagine God's only Son!!! As I approach the Nativity scene, I do so with this song in my heart: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVBsNUXg_YM&feature=related. I think it conveys equally the wonder and overwhelming joy of Christ's birth, the joy at the humility and peace of Our Savior lying sleeping in a manger, and the beauty of beholding this beautiful creature whose eyes are locked on her child. She could care less where she is, or what is going on around her. The only thing that matters to her at that moment (and for the rest of the moments of her life) is this precious child that has been given to her by God. The thought of beholding such a creature brings tears to the eyes, tears of gratitude that God created such a beautiful creature out of clay, tears of wonder that He was even able to create such a beautiful creature, and tears of penitence that He would love us THAT much to give us not ONLY His only son, but also His Beloved, the new Eve, the Mother of the Church.

In that lowly stable, Mary is overwhelmed by the Spirit, filled with love for this little child, this Christ who has been given to her by the Father. Fear is replaced with love. Fear is replaced with trust and faith that God will not leave her, even through a very difficult situation, in a very difficult time, with very difficult people who do not understand where Jesus came from and what He is meant for. Mary takes all this things and meditates upon them in her heart - what a beautiful place for her thoughts to take root! The only things that she will act upon are the things that are of God, and the rest of her thoughts are discarded, upon careful consideration in her heart, as not being of God. How beautiful! She is tempted to fear, but she discards her fear, because she finds in her heart that it is not of God. Her meditation allows her to know God so intimately that she cannot be separated from Him.

Mary forgets all of herself, lost in God, and becomes the vessel through which light enters into our dark world. How can one grieve at the thought of such a light? How can one seek darkness when one's eyes are focused on the light? Truly the impossible was possible with this Daughter of God because she believed in His Word.

Cut to the Crucifixion. Different scene entirely. There is not even a manger in which Christ could rest. He is being whipped, carrying a heavy, wooden cross. People are jeering, cackling at the man who claims to be the Son of God. They call Him a falsity and a liar, mock Him as the King of the Jews. They call for His crucifixion over Barabbas, a noted criminal. He bears it all with a supernatural strength, but His very human mother remains, standing, watching all of this pass. And holding it in her heart and allowing it to take root, because it is of God. Whatever will grow, she trusts that God wanted it to be planted in her heart, and she allowed it to take root so that it would grow strong and flower into something beautiful. Yet this woman who so wisely discarded her fears before does the same again, keeping for herself all the sufferings and discarding the despair, keeping the pains and discarding the hopelessness. She finds God, hidden as He is in the situation, and clings fast to Him, her Rock in times of trouble. Truly THIS is the way to suffer, THIS is the way to suffer in Christ and with Christ! Not out of self-pity or a hatred of others, but out of love of God - to suffer because of human emotions, while maintaining the supernatural virtues of hope, of peace and love, of truth in one's heart. It doesn't make the Crucifixion any less painful, but it redeems the pain as being of God - it does not explain the sufferings, but it gives them an underlying theme of peace and love in Christ.

And if we are to imitate the Blessed Virgin, we must take our own human sufferings as they come, with the same love of Our Mother, trusting in God's Divine Providence, clinging to that which is of God, that which we know in our hearts to be true, good, and beautiful, and discarding the rest. No matter if it hurts at first - there will be peace in the pain. If you are left with a basket full of sorrows that are of God, then rejoice!!! The basket that you carry was surely made in Heaven, and will one day be used to carry even greater amounts of joy! Where would we be without such a basket? With nothing to carry our joy in, that's for sure!!! I know I don't want to be carrying away from my prayers the joy of Heaven in a dinky tin can. I want the largest basket possible - one where I can barely walk, it's so big!!! Yet, that same basket opens us up to receive more of the sufferings that hurt so badly - so what?! Our capacity to love is not defined by our situations, but rather by our willingness to receive them into our hearts - to meditate upon our lives with the diligence and persistence of Mary, weeding out that which is not of Christ and keeping close that which is of Christ.

The first complaint which comes to mind: what if I don't know what is and is not of God? The response: so what? God DEFINITELY knows what He made and what He didn't make. And often He leaves some kind of signature mark on that which He made: either a sign of peace, or love, or true joy. He knows what He wants for us, and all we have to do is know Him to know His Will.

And we don't have to be superstar mystics to understand what God wants for us THIS DAY. We don't have to see into the future, we don't have to have a five-year plan. We simply need to know, for today, for RIGHT NOW, what God Wills for us. God Willed that Mary watch her Son in agony the day of the Crucifixion, and Mary lived that moment fully. God wastes not a single moment of our lives - He uses every second to build our courage, to build our faith and trust in Him, to learn to love better and under more duress. Suffering takes on shape when it is suddenly no longer meaningless and without purpose. It becomes redemptive.

I am currently a second-semester senior in college without a job post-college, as are many of my classmates. We are all starting to feel the anxiety of a life ready to be lived. I have many friends and family members approaching marriage right now, anxious to begin a new life together. And yet, the more of my life I spend in waiting, the more I realize that our "right now" is truly the most precious gift from God - worth infinitely more than any "tomorrow" or "next year" or "yesterday" that anyone could ever imagine. God created time so that we could live moment by moment praising His glory, not so that we could attempt to change the clock by either backtracking or speeding it up. My own dreams of the future come to nothing in the eyes of the Almighty, and my little wonderings are as nothing compared to the Greatness of God. God is in the present, as I know that He has been in the past, and will be in the future. What more is there to know that is not already known in our hearts? :)

The Children of Christ and the Seeds of Love

There are so many instances of children of God judging one another throughout all of the Gospels. Can you even imagine Joseph's distress at the thought of his beautiful wife's dire situation of being pregnant and unmarried? And yet, he was told by an angel, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because He will save His people from their sins." Talk about having misread his bride-to-be.

Or look at the entirety of chapter 7 of Luke. The elders who speak of the centurion's slave assert that he "deserves" to have Jesus heal his slave, yet Jesus is truly impressed by the centurion's faith only when he sends word that he is unworthy of having Jesus under his roof. The widow cries because she misjudges that her only son is gone forever through death, and Jesus calls her son back to life. People don't understand who John the Baptist is (or Jesus, for that matter), and the Pharisee Simon unrightfully judges the sinner who washes Jesus' feet with her tears and dries them with her hair. Quite the lot of misunderstandings for one chapter!!!

But, what do we see in all these instances? How are they all tied together? Christ, in each instance, meets everyone where they are (as He did in His birth in Bethlehem, as He did throughout His life), and loves the sinner as he is. He died for sinners, not for the seemingly perfect, but rather for sinners. And the first step in claiming Jesus as our own is admitting our own sin - otherwise, how can we claim Him and His Mercy?! After all, Jesus did not die for the perfect; so if you are perfect, you are out of luck!!!

Instead, what we see is Christ's compassion in all things. He goes to the centurion although at first he is prideful, acting out of a love for the man himself that swallows the sin of his pride. He meets the widow in her despair, giving her a sign that she might believe, rather than waiting for her to come to Him. He meets the crowds in their confusion and rumors about John and corrects them with love and truth. He offers them analogies that they can understand, and acknowledges their sins while offering the hope that, in the future, "wisdom [will be] vindicated by all her children." He explains to Simon the Pharisee the difference between the repentant sinner and the one who judges her, between the one who shows great love and the one who loves little, yet He affirms Simon by telling him that he was correct in his judgment of His parable: "you have judged rightly." The question of Jesus becomes not, "who is this who even forgives sins?," but rather, "who is this who loves so greatly even those who love so little?"

Our lives are marked by opportunities to judge others and "love little." We can say that one is not "holy" when they do not attend daily Mass, or pray the Rosary every day. Yet, the tears of one truly repentant sinner are worth more than all the daily offerings of a pious Christian. But, how does the repentant sinner reach the point of tears? What moves them so much so as to cry of humility in the face of greatness? Is it not the infinite and merciful love of Christ? Before salvation, there must always be all-encompassing and overwhelming amounts of Love. It is the driving force of the universe, the origins of the earth, created by our good God at the beginning of time.

"So, where does this leave me?", you might ask. "The one trying to better my faith life bit by bit, working on being a good human being in the face of such a seemingly distant goal as imitating Christ?" It means loving others by piercing through the veil of their sin, loving others not because of the person they could be but because of the person they are. It means not wishing that others were better people so you could love them more. It means loving them so much that Christ shines through you. It means allowing that light of Christ to permeate yourself so much that others feel that light, that love, that mercy, and are overwhelmed by the love felt for such imperfection as that of human beings.

We are called to imitate Christ as Catholics, and Jesus Himself taught us to serve even the sinner. Even when washing the feet of one of the worst and most notorious sinners of all time, Simon called Peter, Jesus was told to get up and stop washing Peter's feet. He did not stop His foot-washing, however, and continued performing the Will of the Father, loving Peter through his inability to understand, which caused him to sin. And once Peter did understand, after having denied Christ three times, it was only relying on this overwhelming love that he was able to overcome his own guilt and follow in Christ's footsteps.

If you are a practicing Catholic, chances are you have at some point in your life felt the overwhelming mercy and compassion that is Christ's Love for us. Many of you probably experienced this love in Church at some point. But, what about those people who would never set FOOT in a Church? Or perhaps those crotchety people who seem to hate everyone and everything? Here's a new remedy for the problem: LOVE them. But not the kind of love that wishes they were better for their own sake. The kind of love that is accepting others as they are at exactly that point in time. Loving the crotchety for teaching patience to others, loving those who are unkind simply because they are human beings and part of the body of Christ.

This kind of love that Christ teaches is not a love that asks for anything. It hopes for everything, but does not expect anything. It gives and gives and waits for no response, confident that a seed needs water and sunlight to be given any chance to grow. It does not water the seed to see the beautiful flower, but rather waters it simply because it understands that a seed needs water to grow. It provides and does not think of outcomes, but rather thinks only of the other.

This is the love that we are called to have for everyone. Talk about a hard calling! The Pharisee in us wants so badly to say, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, that she is a sinner." We want so badly to say that nobody understands us, that we are alone in our condemnation of the evils of the world. Yet, this acknowledgment of the evils of the world is what Jesus came to save us from!

"Simon, I have something to say to you," says the Lord. "Tell me, teacher." "Do you see this woman?" Jesus asks. "When I entered your house, you did not give me water for my feet, but she has bathed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair." Lord, forgive me for not realizing that my brothers' sins are jewels that adorn the path to their salvation! For, you have said, "her many sins have been forgiven, hence, she has shown great love. But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little."

Lord God, it is not just about your own mercy that you speak, but about the mercy of your children!! If we are to love others rightly, we are to offer them mercy as you offer mercy - freely and without reserve, exchanging judgment in favor of your supreme goodness. It is not possible for others to "show great love" unless we first see that your mercy is extended to other sinners as much as it is extended to us ourselves. We realize that we restrict the capacity for other sinners to love when we love them less, and that when we channel Christ's love for us, we are helping to enable them to see Christ's mercy and compassion for them. And this is our true aim as followers of Christ - to be the mirrors reflecting His Light, even onto sinners, even onto the imperfect; simply because we are loved in imperfection and sin, very much unto death.

Lord, we pray that you might teach us how to love one another as sinners, as you have loved us. We pray for strength and trust in your love, that we might not trust ourselves, but trust in your infinite mercy and compassion. We ask for eyes that are blind to the judgment of the world, and hearts that cry out to You in every corner that you have hidden Yourself in this world - in people, especially. We pray not to change others, but that You might heal and touch our hearts, so that we are better able to do Your Will and love one another as You have loved us! Lord God, grant us pure hearts this day that look not to the sin, but straight to the hearts of other sinners like ourselves - and only see there the beauty of Your beloved creations!!

Thank you, God, for the irate, for the persecutors, for the confused, for the offensive, for the people who make us uncomfortable, for the sinners, for they give all of us a reason and an opportunity to love them purely, like You love us!!! :) May we always see the blessing of the tiny seed, and nurture it with all the love that we have!!!!

In Christ through Mary,
Christina :)